22 “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. 23 “Truly[f] I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. 25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” [26] [g]
Tuesday, April 16, 2019
Wednesday, April 10, 2019
Walking Away, with More
I need to document this or I will forget.
On Sunday, we went back to FOL after being away for almost a month. It was refreshing for me to listen to Sarah share a personal account with a few college students who accepted Jesus into their hearts and were freed from demonic oppression. I was in-tuned, until I checked Nextdoor and saw that we were the first runners up for my dream play structure for the kids. Passing it up would be utterly FOOLISH. It was free, it was located nearby, and it was exactly what I would have wanted for us to have.
But dream doesn't meet with reality. The reality was -- we have a play structure. We are tired, spent, and it would cost us time, labor, and unnecessary stress to try to get it. Not only that -- but I was feeling a lot of pain (this was before I took an extra dose of Tirosint). I heard that sermon and I wanted so run back into the arms of Jesus... but suddenly, I was gone. I was lost in the desire for manna. More manna, but more means where do they go? And surely, they would rot. We would rot if we had more. We would rot if we sacrificed what was in front of us for all the excess "fluff". I told David about the play structure, and clearly he wanted to please me. He was obliging and was going to let me get it. But I looked at him and told him firmly to speak truth to me. And that if he thought we should not get it, we should not. Truthfully I didn't need him to say anything -- I knew we should not get it. Jesus was telling me.
The moment we decided that we were not going to get it, I cried. Real tears. Because it was painful for me to let go.
But then when I left the service, I felt light, and free. I was ready to meet my children and focus on them, rather than the millions of things that needed to be done in order to get that play structure into our backyard.
Later that evening, Luke shared a story he had heard at his sunday school. He said, it was about a man who was very sad when Jesus told him to get rid of all his toys and money. I felt like it was so appropriate. It confirmed that Jesus really wanted me to walk away from that play structure. I shared that story with Luke -- about how I wanted to get the play structure but in my heart I heard Jesus say no. So I turned away from it. Luke didn't say anything after hearing me describe the perfect play structure, and then suddenly tell him that we were not going to get it. He leaned over and buried his face in my arms in a way that told me he was truly sad.
I asked me if we could sell our other play structure and get a new one. I said maybe. But really -- I should have said Maybe but probably not. We have enough. We do not need nice things or bigger things to be happy. We just need each other.
God, give me the strength and the grace to pull that off. How do I pull off that less is more? I really want to get rid of things and focus on the things that are very important to me -- my children, my family. My Jesus.
On Sunday, we went back to FOL after being away for almost a month. It was refreshing for me to listen to Sarah share a personal account with a few college students who accepted Jesus into their hearts and were freed from demonic oppression. I was in-tuned, until I checked Nextdoor and saw that we were the first runners up for my dream play structure for the kids. Passing it up would be utterly FOOLISH. It was free, it was located nearby, and it was exactly what I would have wanted for us to have.
But dream doesn't meet with reality. The reality was -- we have a play structure. We are tired, spent, and it would cost us time, labor, and unnecessary stress to try to get it. Not only that -- but I was feeling a lot of pain (this was before I took an extra dose of Tirosint). I heard that sermon and I wanted so run back into the arms of Jesus... but suddenly, I was gone. I was lost in the desire for manna. More manna, but more means where do they go? And surely, they would rot. We would rot if we had more. We would rot if we sacrificed what was in front of us for all the excess "fluff". I told David about the play structure, and clearly he wanted to please me. He was obliging and was going to let me get it. But I looked at him and told him firmly to speak truth to me. And that if he thought we should not get it, we should not. Truthfully I didn't need him to say anything -- I knew we should not get it. Jesus was telling me.
The moment we decided that we were not going to get it, I cried. Real tears. Because it was painful for me to let go.
But then when I left the service, I felt light, and free. I was ready to meet my children and focus on them, rather than the millions of things that needed to be done in order to get that play structure into our backyard.
Later that evening, Luke shared a story he had heard at his sunday school. He said, it was about a man who was very sad when Jesus told him to get rid of all his toys and money. I felt like it was so appropriate. It confirmed that Jesus really wanted me to walk away from that play structure. I shared that story with Luke -- about how I wanted to get the play structure but in my heart I heard Jesus say no. So I turned away from it. Luke didn't say anything after hearing me describe the perfect play structure, and then suddenly tell him that we were not going to get it. He leaned over and buried his face in my arms in a way that told me he was truly sad.
I asked me if we could sell our other play structure and get a new one. I said maybe. But really -- I should have said Maybe but probably not. We have enough. We do not need nice things or bigger things to be happy. We just need each other.
God, give me the strength and the grace to pull that off. How do I pull off that less is more? I really want to get rid of things and focus on the things that are very important to me -- my children, my family. My Jesus.
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