Zachary 9 months

Happy 9 months to my Zeke bear! Wow, life has not been the same since you have joined our family!

For one thing, you’re super mobile now. You like to sit up, and lean forward until you’re basically crawling. Then you complain about being your tummy! :D

We have to keep a very careful watch on you. You put everything in your mouth (though, thankfully you now have 8 teeth total). However, in the past month you’ve tried to eat a crayon, paper, halloween candy… and basically anything you could get your hands on. You’re so quick!

Speaking of food, you enjoy power curls, persimmons, and anything we’re having for dinner. You even love Thai food because once I got off the couch and left a bowl of pad Thai that was basically finished, and you helped yourself to the rest! Like I said, thank God you have teeth and can sit up without falling!

You continue to make your scrunchy face and you love to imitate us and laugh. Everything is a game with you, from back and forth throwing things off the floor, to laughing and repeating our behaviors. You and daddy love to make the open-mouth-close behavior in front of the mirror. 

You love your brothers, but you now know how to fight to get your toys. You can be pretty feisty! 

You are so hilarious! You know how to keep me close to your side, by complaining, grabbing, etc. And honestly, for the most part I personally can't complain! I love you so much. I love holding you, cuddling with you, and kissing your fuzzy peach head. The only thing is, you are hardly still enough for me to do that for long. Thankfully we cosleep so I get plenty of cuddle time with my sweet baby boy! I love you so much!!!

Zachary 8 months

 Happy 8 months to my sweet Zachary! 

This month you have really been clingy, which makes my heart warm because it shows you just want mommy (and daddy). You want to be held, and you don't like it when we leave you alone and walk away. You're so good at grabbing our shirts and not letting us go! You make us laugh! 

 You had your first Halloween with your brothers. You didn't love any of the costumes I put you in but you tolerated them. :) 

Sleep has been a little rough since you've been teething.You really know how to let out a cry these days. I feel so bad that your teeth are coming out and probably hurting so much! 

You also are good at imitating, making pucking sounds with your mouth or using your hands to make repeated sounds. You are such a playful baby!

Speaking of playfulness, you love bath time. Whenever you hear the water turn you start kicking your feet frantically and excitedly. We love you so much, Zachy bear. Happy 8 months!

 It is December, it is December. Trim the tree, Trim the tree. Santa Claus so jolly, Mistletoe and holly. Ring the bells, Christmas bells. 

January, January. Happy New Year/ Happy New Year. Icicles and snowflakes. Inuits and snowmen. Winter is here, Winter is here.

February, February, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day. Washington and Lincoln Washington and Lincoln, Groundhog day, Groundhog Day

It is March, It is March. Windy days, kites at play, leprechauns and shamrocks leprechauns and shamrocks, spring is here spring is here.

Zachary 7 months

 Happy 7 months, my dear Zachy-bear! This has been a very fun past month for Mommy, as she has gotten to know you more and all your quirks! 

Let's start off with her favorite new things about you -- your squinty face! You were already doing that at your six month check up... because Dr. Mike noticed it and pointed it out to his intern. You've been doing it a lot more, and now when Mommy does it, you replicate it. It's adorable and it puts a smile on all of our faces! 

You are very good at grabbing things; your hand skills are superb! I have to be careful because you are so quick! You've grabbed your brothers' papers and shoved them in your mouths countless times during our homeschool sessions. Another time, you managed to grab a nail clipper (yikes!). Good thing I caught it right away and you didn't get hurt. We all have to be diligent about keeping things away from you for sure! 

Although your temperament is very sweet, you do let out an angry grunt and express the anger with your entire body, straightening your legs out with force. This usually follows any incident in which Mommy has to take something away from you that you want, or if your brothers take something away from you that you want! Afterwards though, we notice that you let it go pretty quickly and return to your mild, sweet temperament. 

You enjoy being in various jumperoos, exersaucers, walkers, and high chairs... but if you want Mommy, you know how to let her know. Your "Mamamama" cries are very clear. And when I look at you, you often times will put your arms out, communicating that you want me to hold you. You are so smart, and I can't get over how well you communicate!

You love playing with your toys and will keep a steady focus during play time. You continue to be great with your hands! 

You hate tummy time, and usually the house is a mess so we don't get to practice crawling as much. However, this coming month, Mommy is planning on putting you in tummy time boot camp! It's for your own good!

You now have 4 teeth and have tried various solids, including apples, bananas, sweet potatoes, mung beans, avocados, leafy greens, and seaweed. I think seaweed is your favorite! :) 

I love you, my sweet baby boy! Happy 7 months! I can't imagine life without you. I'm so thankful to God for you. :) 

Zachary 6 months

 Dear Zachy-Bear, I can't believe you are a whole SIX months today! Time has flown, and though you have only been in my arms for 6 months, I can't imagine my life without you. 

We started off this month with a neighborhood walk in the Bob single stroller, where you SAT without an infant car seat. In fact, throughout this past month you have gotten pretty good at sitting up, though you still need some assistance. You continue to complain about tummy time. However, you adore being in your Sesame Street walker. 

 This past month, we occasionally go to the garden and you never seem to mind sitting in your Bumbo seat while mommy waters the plants. 

You also love putting things in your mouth, and are so good with your hands. The moment I put you down on the couch or on the bed, you almost immediately reach out for something to grab and put in your mouth. I'm amazed by how good you are with your hands when you need to self-feed. Interestingly enough, your hands were the first things I noticed when you were born. I noted to Daddy that you had defined, large hands!

This past month also saw our family starting our homeschooling adventure together. It's been tricky - you don't seem to want to go down for naps as regularly. In fact, you have gotten really good at resisting nap time. However, you adore your brothers and you regularly giggle and watch them with careful attention...and we somehow just make it work.

 You do not enjoy being put down and prefer to be carried around; of course, why not? The world is so interesting to see. Unfortunately, we are home-bound most of the time due to the pandemic, financial issues, and now... just currently, terrible wildfires. So the most you see is our home, the backyard, and occasionally, the neighborhood. These have been interesting times for the world. I am thankful that though there is so such sadness, destruction, and chaos in our world, that we have the gift of family... and the gift of you. I love you so much.

 You are a full 19.6 lbs at your last check-up! I can't get over your fat rolls. I continue to enjoy sleeping next to you, so much that we gave your high quality crib to Josiah and got rid of his firetruck bed.  

Another thing I want to mention... you love saying "mama" and guess what? I can't get enough of it myself!   And, by the way, thanks for hanging out with me when i do my walks on the treadmill. You like to hang out in your spare walker/exersaucer. Thanks for being my exercise buddy! :) 

I love you, my dear Zachy bear!

Zachary 5 months

 Happy 5 months, my sweet Zachary! 

This month, you continue to grow heavier and heavier. I love hearing you say "Momma!' and I love having you by my side in the garden. 

You have gotten really good with your hands and enjoy playing with objects like silicone teethers and Gymboree ball.

We are still working on tummy time. While you don't enjoy it, you tolerate it, especially when I put something in front of you... or when your brothers are on the surface with you. 

As a family, we continue to make our regular neighborhood walks. Usually you stay with me in the Bob single stroller while your brothers either ride their own scooters or ride in the wagon, which Daddy pushes. However, one night this past month we put you in there and while we argued that you are almost ready, your brothers resisted having you with them. "Zachary might spit up on us!" is what they say! Don't worry, we'll get there!

Speaking of spitting up, you have been drinking so much milk that often when you DO spit up, it drenches mommy and daddy. 

I wonder how much you weigh now? I love you, Zachy Bear!

Zachary 4 Months

Happy 4 months to my Zachy Bear! Mommy admits that I am writing this a few days late... gee, where can I find time these days? But I made sure to do this because it's so important to me to remember you at this age. :) 

My dear Zachary, you have been growing like a champ, weighing 17 lbs and 3 ounces at your last check up. Sleep (for mommy) has been rough up to this point, due to sleeping on a not-so-comfortable bed. You also marathon nurse so that really kept me up. I am thankful to report, however, that Daddy and I just moved to the living room to sleep on the pull-out sofa, and boy... what a difference it has made! We're all getting a little better sleep :) and ... hey, we'll do anything for good sleep.

This past month, we've enjoyed your smiley exchanges with us, and endless cooing! You are such a social butterfly. You love your brothers and are perfectly content staying in the room with them. You love to be held by Mommy, often scanning the room for me when I have to put you down. I do not like putting you down, so my goal is to baby-wear you more often. I don't mind! I love having you close to me. 

We continue to take our walks as a family, and it's been a hit or miss with you. Some days you like it, other days you complain and want to be held while Mommy is pushing you in a stroller. This past month, you've started making the sounds, "Mmm mmm mmm..." Luke says you're trying to say "Mommy." :) You've also gotten good at tummy time, and are able to hold your head up pretty well. You do not like your play mat as much these days... mainly because you prefer not to lay down flat. In fact, each time I put you down flat, you try to lift your head forward (putting yourself in a leaning position). 

This month, we introduced you to the jumperoo. At first you didn't mind being in it... and you started even to touch and fiddle with the toys on it. Soon, though, you have started to complain more, preferring to be held of course. :) You also love the bumbo, and Mommy often has to put you in it when we go outside to the garden. It's Mommy's favorite place to be in our home, and you don't seem to mind being my garden buddy. :) 

You also sometimes join Mommy in the kitchen, while sitting in your high chair. At first, it was hard for you to stay up. You would slouch and sink down. Now you seem to be better at sitting there...

... Often you put your hands to your mouth. You tend to grab an item we hold in front of you and bring it to your mouth! Last time, Daddy saw you on your play mat touching the toys. It's exciting to see that you have discovered your hands at this age. :)  Some of your favorite toys recently have been Sophie the Giraffe, silicone spoon, and Under the Nile Froggy.

Your first trip this summer was to 123 Farm, to the lavender fields. You did a great job on our long drive, and you loved exploring the lavenders and the olive tree grove. 

You also celebrated 2 holidays this month -- Father's Day (you wore a Papa's Little Helper cloth diaper, and soiled it for daddy), and the 4th of July, which you didn't seem too interested in, especially since we didn't do anything due to the COVID-19 pandemic. 

You continue to love being swaddled and you sleep best when we put you in a swaddle. In fact, recently you have been sleeping for up to 4 hours at a time during the day. I didn't know this then, but by the time you turned 4 months, you got your first tooth! I was so surprised. It was at the  bottom left. 

I love you so much, my Zachary. You bring so much joy to our days. When I am feeling down by all the worries of this world, just holding you makes me feel so much more elevated. I am so thankful that God gave us you -- your chubby, squishy body to hug, and your sweet smiley face to engage with! You make all of us smile; I am just so glad you are part of our family and that I get to be your Mommy. I love you, my sweet Zachy Bear! 

It's sad. I feel like he doesn't try anymore. It's like he's over it. He's over "me" and our marriage. Maybe he put up with me too long (that's what he said ... HIS words)... but I don't see effort to change.

I'm grateful for...

1. Coffee in the morning.

2. A "clean" house to wake up to.

3. Some cuddle time with Zachary.

4. Raffi's RISE AND SHINE book and song.

5. Chocolate chip cookies this morning

6. Finding chocolate in the baking pantry!

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”⁣
(Ephesians‬ ‭4:32‬)⁣

⁣
Let the Lord’s kindness lead us to repentance and let it compel me to show kindness, compassion, and forgiveness to others. Now. And every day.

Let it begin with me. ⁣

Zachary 3 months

My dear Zachy-bear, you are 3 months old now. I can't believe how fast time flies! You are such a happy baby, and though these past few weeks have been difficult, you remain a constant joy. Your smile and your laughter are contagious to me.

That is one thing I will start off with -- your laugh. You've began doing that regularly. You are such a social little guy, always make eye-contact with me and playing with me. You especially love when I put you on my lap to look at me face-to-face. You love when I pull you up against me and kiss your adorable little face... it always cracks you up! 

You continue to sleep next to me, and not in the doc-a-tot anymore. I might as well put that away. :) You still love to be swaddled but I think you are growing out of it. You are starting to have a consistent nap time schedule, though you do not always stay asleep due to all the noise and chatter of having 4 other people under the roof. 

You also have gotten really good at neck control, and tummy time is not such a terrible thing anymore once you realized you can keep your head up! You love your play mobile and kick and dance under it multiple times a day. Of course, you prefer to be held by mommy most of the time, which I don't mind doing. You are just so sweet! 

Although you started off with little hair, your hair is coming in slow and steady. You now have a lot of fuzz on the sides of your head. It's adorable! 

You love to nurse through the night, which means less sleep for mommy. You are now at 16 lbs and 5 ounces! 

Things have continued to be hard in the world. COVID-19 is still a reality, along with face-mask wearing and quarantine life. Mental health seem to be a struggle for many people around the world during this pandemic, and our family is struggling, too. This past week in history, there has been some civil unrest throughout the nation. In our own town, there was a lot of activity. This has put mommy and daddy under some stress. Though the world is in turmoil, God is sovereign and good... and I am so thankful that He gave me you during this time, my consistent source of happiness and joy. I love you, my Zachy-bear!!

My job is not to take away an inconvenience. My job is to raise human beings. 

"I invite you to stand strong in your sense of self as a parent, and to embrace the fact that your priority is to operate in the service of your growing child, and not in the service of that broader cultural dynamic. Think about how you can show up to reinforce the connection relationship you have with your child, rather than doing what feels more convenient or wins greater approval from the adults around you."

Annie gave my children sweets yesterday...in between meals. Ice-cream, Pocky sticks, etc. I let them have them, despite the conflicting message they might be getting about gluten, sugar, processed foods. It upset my children, too, because they didn't get the same item each time. At some point, I made them stop eating their "large portion ice-cream" and give the rest to David. My sister intervened. "Just let them have it." Wait, I'm the parent. What I teach them about sugar, processed foods, and generally unhealthy items should carry on from home to someone else's home. I wanted to please my sister at that time. I was trying to win her greater approval. I have to remember to reinforce connection and live out my convictions in these times.

Mothers Day

Lord, thank You for the gift of motherhood. Thank You for Luke, Josiah, and Zachary. Thank you for David. Thank you for health. Thank you for Your constant presence and forgiveness of my sins and grace over my failures.

Zachary 2 months

Happy 2 months, my sweet Zachary. I love you so much! I can't believe it's been 2 months since you came into my arms. That was one of the best days of my life!

Despite all that is happening in the world today, you are my constant joy. I am so thankful to God that He brought you into our lives at just the right time. I love all of you -- your rolls, your cuddles, your newborn grunts, your newborn cries, your shrieks of joy. You truly fill my heart with warmth.

This month, you have started to really pick up on your cooing game. You have so much to say! You also love the mobile, and you love when I make faces at you and talk to you. You always give me such big smiles, and they brighten up my day instantly.

We finally moved from the living room couch-turn-pull out queen bed, and into our room. You always start off in the Dock-A-Tot, which is right in between me and Daddy, but soon you end up sleeping next to me in my arms. You are so sweet.

You don't love tummy time, but you're getting good at it. In fact, you even rolled from tummy to back a few days ago, by accident. You're getting better at holding your neck up. With your two older brothers running around, I dare not put you on the floor. You mostly do tummy time on the bed, or in your crib.

These days, Mommy has been spending lots of time walking you in the stroller. I love these moments when it's just me and you.  As for outings, your only outing this month was to the pediatrician. Soon after you turned 2 months, the trails opened and more of the city started to open up. So, I've taken you to the Nature Center 3 times already. It's special... because I walked the Nature Center almost daily during my pregnancy with you. I'm so thankful that I can take you there now.

As for stats... you weigh 14 lbs and 2 ounces now, and are 23 inches long!

I love you, Zachary!

Luke's current prayer

"If I fall in the lava, I survive, it doesn't get too hot and doesn't dry up... In Jesus' Name, Amen."

The second child said, "I have a good prayer. You wanna hear it?!"

We were on a walk around the neighborhood. He's terrified of dogs. He said,
"No dogs, In Jesus' Name. Amen."

Oh, the heart of a child. The faith of a child.

Both boys have Little Mammals.

These days they are obsessed with pretend camping.

Josiah still wants "kin kin" (skin-to-skin).

Zachary is smiling, cooing, making eye contact.

Luke is reading up a storm. Heck, the boy can even read upside down.

I enjoyed today. Though I was exhausted, I loved being with all 3 of them. I loved the sound of their voices, and their laughter. I experienced healing with Josiah and I wrestled play -- singing, "Goodnight, goodnight construction site... goodnight goodnight Josiah sight."

I love how his smile lights up. I love his bright face.

I love Luke's obsession with camoflauge ... I love kissing Zachary to pieces.

Today started off rough. But I found victory in the moments. The little moments... which are truly big moments.

Figuring Life Out - One Thousand Gifts

"You have GOT to figure out a way to stay fully awake."

Luke's underwater city.

This is wealth.

Lord, help me not to forget these days. I've been so ungrateful, carrying around a weight of resentment and anger. I want to let them go and see Your glory in the mundane. These precious children are a gift, and life-force from You. Let me not forget!

Bless You, Lord. Change my heart. Lift my spirits up, O Holy One!

One month: Zachary

My dear Zachary, you are now one month old! Crazy how fast it's gone. It feels like only yesterday I was pregnant with you, waiting eagerly to meet you... and then finally meeting you 9 days later. Meeting you in person was one of the best days of my life. And now I can't believe that you have been with us for an entire month!

It's been a strange time for us all, as we are in the middle of a global pandemic and have been quarantined for 3 1/2 weeks now. For you, though, life is strange simply because you are out of the womb! It took you awhile to adjust... but I think you are used to it now. You sleep, drink milk, and cuddle with mama daily. Life for you is predictable and good. :)

Despite what is happening in the world, I am so glad that I have you! You bring a smile to my face during such a dark season of life. I thoroughly enjoy everything about you! I especially love the little newborn sounds you make. I wish I could put it all in a box and keep it forever.

Since we have been quarantined, we have not done much in the way of outings. Your first trip in the car was, of course, to come home. The next day, we put you back in the car and we returned to the birth center for your newborn screening. After that, we took you to the pediatrician's office for your first visit there. When you were six days old, we took you to get newborn photography done. It was a cold and rainy day, and I was nervous about taking a newborn out after hearing so much rampant news about COVID-19. Thank God He protected us. Little did I imagine that a few days later, we would be in a global pandemic. With all the restrictions building up over time, we managed to make 2 leisure outings as a family. Daddy and I took you and your brothers to hike some trails in Glendora -- a beautiful place with hardly any people around. Of course, shortly after that, all trails and public places closed down. On all the hikes, you stayed asleep in my baby wrap, of course. :)

Speaking of sleeping in baby wraps, you and I have had many walks in the neighborhood. You love to be "baby worn" and I  love wearing you! You also love to be carried, and you love looking at things -- especially the ceiling fan.

You are now at a whopping 11 pounds 3 ounces, thanks partially to the fact that mama got mastitis and had to nurse you more frequently to heal from it. :)

The boys and I like to sing this song to you; "Zachary, Zachary, Zach Zach Zach-arie - ee - ee. Zachary, Zachary, Zee Zee Zee Zachary!" The boys like to say, "His eyes are opened!" and stare at you while singing that song to you. Luke is convinced that he is your favorite, and that you will love him the most! Josiah still wants "skin to skin" with me, so he often says, "No, don't breastfeed baby."


You don't mind loud noise (your brothers sure are loud!), and you seem to like sitting outside with me in the backyard. You hardly fuss, unless you're hungry or want to be held. Your temperament is so sweet. We love you Zachary, and we love having you in our lives! Happy 1 month, my sweet little boy!

Ms. Karen said, "Your boy Luke is quite the independent thinker!" She explained that they were talking about soldiers and learning about them. Part of the craft activity involved decorating their scabbard with stickers. Luke refused to do so. So Ms. Karen took him aside and showed him pictures and explained that back in the day, the soldiers had their swords decorated with ornamental things. She showed him an example. Immediately, he said, "I want to do it like this!" So he drew a design on his scabbard. She was so impressed and said that this shows he is very left-brained and logical... and quite mature! The little things I learn about Luke! <3

Today Luke read a book about caves during our rest time. On our way home from dinner (we ate at Nomad Asian Bistro -- I didn't feel good afterwards... but I missed Chinese food so much; still it was not worth it), he said he didn't want to play Uno (he's been obsessed for a while) but instead he wants to create a Lava Cave in our hallway. They've been at it (Josiah and Luke) for the past 40 minutes. I love his creativity and his love for play. And I love how Josiah just goes along with it. I love them both so!