I Don't Have a Mother

Today, I sent the MIL a message. "Goodbye!"

It came down to one thing: continue to nurture the relationship with her, while hurting my second born, or nurture my relationship with him, and let that forced, unrealistic, suffocating MIL - DIL relationship go. After 6 years of suppression, I'm letting the superficial, toxic relationship with her go.

And what newfound freedom I have. When my mother died, I realized one thing: I don't have a mother. I never did, never will. Her death did not leave me mother-less. I was already motherless. 

And now, I can move on. Mother-free. 

My job now is to mother my own children, and mother the inner child.